I think I can honestly say that this year I feel absolutely nothing about Christmas. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
I have written several times before about Christmas, and given myself the glorious freedom to enjoy it like I want. In the past, even with losses and stress, I have always still managed to find that warm fuzzy feeling somewhere. I know it's still early in the season yet, but I'm sad. I want to be a little kid full of anticipation, but there's too many much pent up disappointment and dashed hopes. Sweaters and snowmen and music and food and lights . . . . . none of it fixes anything.
I'm certainly not offended by any one else's preparations, I just feel numb. (Although, walking around Walmart on Black Friday did feel like something out of a movie, even though it was three o'clock in the afternoon.)
What do I want for Christmas?
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