In the circles that I hang with, we toss around the phrase, a new season. I've been thrown into such a different season. I'm trying some new things, new environments, meeting new people, etc. All of that is stretching me more than I have been stretched in quite a while. Some of it by my choice, but not all of it. It has been good for me, I hope.
Along with that stretching comes the discomfort of navigating new waters and new personalities. I feel like I'm back in junior high.
I am being bullied for the first time in a long time. I didn't realize how much I have been sheltered. I am venturing out into the world, out of my comfort zone, and I have encountered a person that has been making very unkind statements referring to my size and weight. It seems to come so naturally to them, that I'm pretty certain that they must behave that way to everyone; I'm just not used to it. These are unkind things that are said to my face and in front of other people.
I will admit that I am very sensitive about my weight. Most women are. It has been a lifelong battle and not a pretty one, at that. I struggle with shame, blame, feeling unattractive and everything else that goes with it. Trust me, I am very aware of what I look like. Mirrors and photographs can ruin my day, and don't even get me started on that number on the scale.
Ridicule is so very demotivating and makes me want to crawl back into my hole; like I don't even deserve to draw breath.
So, I have to choose to move on. Do I ignore the comments or meet them head-on?
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